outspokn.

Well…. Have I been on one HELL of a ride since 2017 and ‘B’.

My speculating about whether or not that person was a bad idea, yeah that was me saying I know that I don’t deserve this but I’m doing it anyway because I am in to much emotional pain to care… even if this ends up ultimately bringing even more pain into my life. Which it did.

Most, dissapointingly was that I REALLY liked this person. But he would have never been faithful.

So I kept dating…
Kyle
Dylan
Andrew
Nick.

N, is my present day. I honestly have no clue how this one is going to go.
To make a long story shorter, my Father fell ill around September 2021 and was hospitalized for 8 months with a blood infection that eventually lead to a spinal infection, they struggled to keep this under control and to manage my Dad’s pain.

I was travelling on Fridays from the city to the North (six hours one way) just to find my Dad on the floor, soiled and unable to walk. I would call 911 and we would go to the ER and they would give him some pain killers and send him away.
Well not this time. I called 911 and the Paramedic to show up had nice eyes and lifted my Dad off the floor like nobody’s business.

I wasn’t paying much attention as the circumstances weren’t great but I thought I had seen this guy checking me out. Anyway, we go to the hospital and this person tells me his name is ______ and gives me his card, I asked “when is your shift over?” and he said now… lol. So I said well if your shifts over and I have an emergency I will just call 911.

Well, father pipes up after he leaves and says “I think that guy likes you” – I shrugged it off and disagreed. I didn’t contact him either… I had no emergencies.

Next day I return to the hospital to see my father whom they ended up admitting with N’s help and who shows up but N.
He says “you didn’t text me” and I CLUED in. He does like me.
So, I said I didn’t have any emergencies – lol.
He asked me to dinner and that part is history.

The part that isn’t history and is really damaging this relationship is my grandmother.
My grandmother asked me to purchase her restaurant that was struggling through the pandemic – initially I said NO.
I had just got a great job and had only been in the role for a year and I thought there was a ton of potential for growth.

Given that my father was sick, N was from the North and that my grandmother needed my help – I decided to take a risk.